I read this book as the author was an invited speaker at my workplace.
In Mattering, Jennifer Breheny Wallace explores a fundamental human need: the drive to feel significant to others and to contribute something of value. She defines mattering with a simple equation: Feeling Valued + Adding Value. When these two halves meet, they form a “mattering core” that acts as a protective shield against anxiety and burnout.
A key concept in the book is “anti-mattering”. While everyone experiences moments of feeling overlooked, anti-mattering is a more enduring and corrosive belief that you are fundamentally invisible or inconsequential. Wallace argues that this gnawing feeling exacts a profound toll on our mental health if left to fester.
To combat this, the book offers practical strategies to rebuild your sense of worth:
- The Impact File: Keep a collection of thank-you notes and milestones to remind yourself of the tangible difference you make.
- The “Cornerman” Approach: Invest in others’ success. By celebrating their joy and providing support, you build a community where everyone feels seen.
- Radical Self-Prioritization: You cannot add value to others if your own tank is empty. Treating your well-being as a priority is an act of generosity.
Wallace reminds us that in the workplace, mattering is “clean fuel”. Unlike fear-based motivation, it builds lasting resilience and trust. Ultimately, Mattering is an insightful guide to realizing that by making others feel they belong, we secure our own sense of value and purpose.
Footnotes
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