We tend to think of better behavior as on/off switches. We want to turn off the bad ones and flip on the good parts. But this switch approach creates rigid expectations and sets us up for perfectionism, making it harder to adapt and thrive in real life.

Instead, we can think of our behavior as a dial.

True self-improvement is about adjusting the dials to fit our situations, not flipping a switch between extremes. We can utilize dials as guides that allow us to adapt and adjust based on what we need right now like turning up traits like kindness when they’re needed (like during stressful social situations) or dialing down anxiety levels through conscious practice.